Fourteen Years

So today marks fourteen years of marriage for Josh and me. That seems like sooooo many years. I guess it is. Josh asked me what year was the best so far. It’s a little like asking which season is the best when you live on the California coast. They’re all good. Sure there was the year of El Nino, but other than that, it’s mostly delightful. And I guess that describes our married life. Sure there was the year of the dot.com bust, oh! and let’s not forget the year of Ella’s colic. But other than that it’s been swell. It really has.

I was looking for some kind of medical records or something the other day when I found our wedding vows. We wrote our own because I sure wasn’t going be pledging obedience and all that shit. And here’s what Josh wrote and recited me all those years ago (written on a memo pad from gemini metals corporation):

Well, Jody, our parents have given their blessing, our friends and family have all come as witnesses, and the minister will make our marriage legal. But it’s this–you and me, speaking together–that is the most important, the most valuable part of the whole wedding. These promises I’m making are not for our parents, they’re not for the church, they’re for you. And, really, I don’t need to make them. You know, Jody, that without speaking, because of our life together, how much I love you and how committed I am to you. But in front of all these people, I promise out loud, to learn to love you and to stay with you as long as we live, Jody. And, of course, I promise to respect you, encourage you, and grow with you . I promise to have babies with you and grow old with you. These things go without saying–they’re written in every aspect of the life we share. But more than these promises, these vows, Jody, I will work with you, Jody, and most of all I will try my very best to be a good husband. After all, isn’t that what love is? Isn’t that, really, what life is? — working together and knowing we will fail often, still doing the best we know how to do.

Well, yes. And failed we have. And loved we have. What a life it has been. A really good one.

And, um, Josh? When you promised to have babies with me, you really didn’t have to make good on that on our honeymoon. But, thank you for this wonderful life we have. Thank you for the commitment, respect, encouragement, and for staying true to these words. I love you. Happy Anniversary.

 

Published by jody sparks

Jody Sparks Mugele spent her first career in marketing writing and leading teams of writers and editors. After her son came out as transgender in 2015, she dedicated herself to advocating for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. For two years, she led the Indianapolis regional chapter of PFLAG, a nationally renowned LGBTQ+ advocacy group. She has given many conference talks about parenting trans kids, healthcare in the trans community, and suicidality among LGBTQ+ youth. And with GenderNexus, an Indianapolis-based advocacy organization, she created programming and led support groups to work with parents to help their children through all aspects of gender transition. She recently moved to Northeast Georgia where she is excited to develop opportunities to continue to strongly and proudly advocate for LGBTQ+ members of our society. She also LOVES kitschy Christmas crafting!

7 thoughts on “Fourteen Years

  1. Hi,
    I am writing a book called “So…How Did You Meet Anyway?” It is a collection of people’s “how we met” stories.
    I have posted the stories which have been sent in on;
    So…How Did You Meet Anyway?
    http://wwwsohowdidyoumeet.blogspot.com/
    I am always shopping for stories and I would like to add yours. Please check out the site, and if you would like to contribute your “how we met” story contact me at;
    susan.amestoy@gmail.com

    Take care and…congratulations!
    Susan

  2. Happy Anniversary a few days late. I can definitely see you both writing your own vows. How sweet. And you’ve both supported each other in your dreams.

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