Tag Archives: marriage

Fourteen Years

31 Tuesday May 2011

Posted by in Adventures, family, getting old

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So today marks fourteen years of marriage for Josh and me. That seems like sooooo many years. I guess it is. Josh asked me what year was the best so far. It’s a little like asking which season is the best when you live on the California coast. They’re all good. Sure there was the year of El Nino, but other than that, it’s mostly delightful. And I guess that describes our married life. Sure there was the year of the dot.com bust, oh! and let’s not forget the year of Ella’s colic. But other than that it’s been swell. It really has.

I was looking for some kind of medical records or something the other day when I found our wedding vows. We wrote our own because I sure wasn’t going be pledging obedience and all that shit. And here’s what Josh wrote and recited me all those years ago (written on a memo pad from gemini metals corporation):

Well, Jody, our parents have given their blessing, our friends and family have all come as witnesses, and the minister will make our marriage legal. But it’s this–you and me, speaking together–that is the most important, the most valuable part of the whole wedding. These promises I’m making are not for our parents, they’re not for the church, they’re for you. And, really, I don’t need to make them. You know, Jody, that without speaking, because of our life together, how much I love you and how committed I am to you. But in front of all these people, I promise out loud, to learn to love you and to stay with you as long as we live, Jody. And, of course, I promise to respect you, encourage you, and grow with you . I promise to have babies with you and grow old with you. These things go without saying–they’re written in every aspect of the life we share. But more than these promises, these vows, Jody, I will work with you, Jody, and most of all I will try my very best to be a good husband. After all, isn’t that what love is? Isn’t that, really, what life is? — working together and knowing we will fail often, still doing the best we know how to do.

Well, yes. And failed we have. And loved we have. What a life it has been. A really good one.

And, um, Josh? When you promised to have babies with me, you really didn’t have to make good on that on our honeymoon. But, thank you for this wonderful life we have. Thank you for the commitment, respect, encouragement, and for staying true to these words. I love you. Happy Anniversary.

 

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One Of My Favorite Moments of Marriage

18 Tuesday Jan 2011

Posted by in family, getting old

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I haven’t blogged about family recently, and I truly think my best posts are the family stories. This one is about Josh and me, last year. I believe he had just matched for his medical residency and our time was winding down in Michigan. We were out at the pub with Lisa and Evan, our best “couple friends” who had just married fairly recently. The way Evan was still googly-eyed over Lisa was adorable as hell, and admittedly I was a little jealous.

Our dinner had nearly come to a finish, and Josh had escaped to the bathroom when the waitress approached and asked us if we’d like dessert. Lisa and Evan passed. I was pretty sure Josh would want something, so I asked her about the chocolate cake on the menu. “It’s Amazing!” She explained.

Well, of course it was, I thought. “I know,” I said, “But can you describe it? Is it a really dense cake? Because Josh likes his chocolate cake fluffy and light.”

She hedged. “Mmm, I’m not sure. It’s rich, I guess, but it’s sooooooo good. He won’t be disappointed.”

I looked at Lisa and Evan while they simply looked back at me. Then I told the waitress we’d wait for Josh to return.

When Josh returned, so did our waitress. She said, “Your wife wasn’t sure whether to order dessert for you, or not.”

He consulted his menu. “What’s the chocolate cake like?”

“It’s soooooo good,” she said. “Everyone loves it!”

Josh said, “Yeah, but can you describe it? I don’t like my chocolate cake to be super dense. Is it dense, or is it more fluffy?”

We all just cracked up. Even the waitress. Poor Josh. He was like, “Uh, what?”

The waitress said, “That’s exactly what your wife asked me!”

When it was all over, Josh passed on the cake. But I’d like to think that Lisa and Evan were just the tiniest bit jealous of Josh and I in that moment.