Like When We Were In College

Josh’s schedule is so weird that I don’t even try to figure it out. His sleep pattern is also beyond me. And these two things are kind of fantastic. We went out to lunch yesterday, and we behaved like two people who really missed each other: lots of chatter, some hand-holding, those looks at  one another that mean, “I’ve missed you.”

For me, the difference in our relationship since he’s started residency is that I’ve stopped having expectations. I have no idea when dinner will be or when the yard will be mowed or when his next day off will be. He’ll sleep when he needs to and we’ll all leave him alone. When he wakes and finds me reading, he’ll sit quietly until I’ve finished the chapter. I feel like I did when we were dating in college. Josh was faaaaaar more studious than me. He had more classes and more papers and more drive to impress his professors. It was cool. Our relationship found it’s way without anyone being pushy. I didn’t need to know what he was doing, or what his schedule had on it. He didn’t need to know mine. He’d call when he could. I’d call when I could.  We’d skip a class now and then, and we had dates whenever possible (and on a shoestring budget).

And pretty much, we’re back to that. It’s a great time (mostly) when our paths cross and we get to make those small new discoveries about each other’s days. His discoveries in the ER are far weirder and more disgusting than anything in my day, but it makes for great conversation.

Published by jody sparks

Jody Sparks Mugele spent her first career in marketing writing and leading teams of writers and editors. After her son came out as transgender in 2015, she dedicated herself to advocating for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. For two years, she led the Indianapolis regional chapter of PFLAG, a nationally renowned LGBTQ+ advocacy group. She has given many conference talks about parenting trans kids, healthcare in the trans community, and suicidality among LGBTQ+ youth. And with GenderNexus, an Indianapolis-based advocacy organization, she created programming and led support groups to work with parents to help their children through all aspects of gender transition. She recently moved to Northeast Georgia where she is excited to develop opportunities to continue to strongly and proudly advocate for LGBTQ+ members of our society. She also LOVES kitschy Christmas crafting!

9 thoughts on “Like When We Were In College

      1. Glad you’ve all adjusted. Hopefully as it progresses, his schedule gets better?

  1. Jody, very good to see you are adjusting and even getting some benefits from the changes in your daily routines. You are doing a service to all those young couples showing that stress doesn’t have to be the response to challenges and changes. Endorphins are welcome, I think.

  2. This post gave me flashbacks, Jody! And you’re so right that you have to stop having expectations. As a fellow survivor of intern year (at least, vicariously), I vividly remember my wife arriving home after a 30-hour shift and falling into a catatonic sleep until one hour before her next shift began. But she’s never been as grateful to me for making coffee as she was that year!

    Anyway, good luck to you both. Maybe one day we’ll all meet up and share stories!

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