Josh’s schedule is so weird that I don’t even try to figure it out. His sleep pattern is also beyond me. And these two things are kind of fantastic. We went out to lunch yesterday, and we behaved like two people who really missed each other: lots of chatter, some hand-holding, those looks at one another that mean, “I’ve missed you.”
For me, the difference in our relationship since he’s started residency is that I’ve stopped having expectations. I have no idea when dinner will be or when the yard will be mowed or when his next day off will be. He’ll sleep when he needs to and we’ll all leave him alone. When he wakes and finds me reading, he’ll sit quietly until I’ve finished the chapter. I feel like I did when we were dating in college. Josh was faaaaaar more studious than me. He had more classes and more papers and more drive to impress his professors. It was cool. Our relationship found it’s way without anyone being pushy. I didn’t need to know what he was doing, or what his schedule had on it. He didn’t need to know mine. He’d call when he could. I’d call when I could. We’d skip a class now and then, and we had dates whenever possible (and on a shoestring budget).
And pretty much, we’re back to that. It’s a great time (mostly) when our paths cross and we get to make those small new discoveries about each other’s days. His discoveries in the ER are far weirder and more disgusting than anything in my day, but it makes for great conversation.
Jody Sparks Mugele 
Love this. Love.
Thanks, Jody, for a peep into your life and lives!
I miss you so much!
Jan
Miss you, too, Jan! I was serious about you coming for a visit. Please do, when you can.
Glad you’ve all adjusted. Hopefully as it progresses, his schedule gets better?
Jody, very good to see you are adjusting and even getting some benefits from the changes in your daily routines. You are doing a service to all those young couples showing that stress doesn’t have to be the response to challenges and changes. Endorphins are welcome, I think.
Thank you, Alice. I miss you.
This post gave me flashbacks, Jody! And you’re so right that you have to stop having expectations. As a fellow survivor of intern year (at least, vicariously), I vividly remember my wife arriving home after a 30-hour shift and falling into a catatonic sleep until one hour before her next shift began. But she’s never been as grateful to me for making coffee as she was that year!
Anyway, good luck to you both. Maybe one day we’ll all meet up and share stories!
Thank you so much, Antony! I am so hopeful that our paths will cross someday!