Matched and Still Married

Being matched is a good feeling.

I don’t talk about my marriage much on my blog, but I think today I will. I’m not a believer in destiny or “the one I am meant to be with.” I just knew Josh was interesting and I wanted to be around him forever. This is how he proposed: we were driving from my home in Indiana back to college in Tennessee. Josh stopped at the Cumberland Gap. It’s a gorgeous ravine, especially in the Fall. We sat down on the stony ledge, and he took out my grandmother’s ring. He said, “If you don’t marry me, I’ll throw myself off the ledge.” What’s a girl to do?

It’s probably the smartest thing I ever did. When the Odd in life sets in, there is my marriage to hold me still. Finances can go to crap. The kids can get colicky. Jobs can be lost. Creative pursuits may stall or never happen. Friendships will come and go. And yet, there is my marriage.  Uh, don’t get me wrong, we fight. But it’s still a pretty steady beat in an otherwise unpredictable life. We’re not great at planning. Evidence: me getting pregnant on the honeymoon. (I use the term honeymoon loosely.) So, planning out Josh’s Med School path was a pretty big deal. I’m incredibly proud of his hard work, willingness to start over, and perseverance. I’m sure there’s more hardship to come; I hear intern year is no picnic. But for now, I’m hanging on to the swing, closing my eyes in the breeze, and enjoying the satisfaction of Josh’s match day outcome. It feels so great to have tangible results!

I’m also kind of hoping that Josh will make at least one more post to his blog, which he started at the beginning of Med School. It would be a great wrap up. Some great things over there for anyone who may be interested in going to Med School, whether it’s at the University of Michigan, or not. It tracks his journey well into third year and then gets spotty, as he becomes more sleep-deprived and begins preparing for the boards and for interviews.

Congratulations to my baby on matching, and matching incredibly well. I think I just fell in love with you a little more.

Published by jody sparks

Jody Sparks Mugele spent her first career in marketing writing and leading teams of writers and editors. After her son came out as transgender in 2015, she dedicated herself to advocating for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. For two years, she led the Indianapolis regional chapter of PFLAG, a nationally renowned LGBTQ+ advocacy group. She has given many conference talks about parenting trans kids, healthcare in the trans community, and suicidality among LGBTQ+ youth. And with GenderNexus, an Indianapolis-based advocacy organization, she created programming and led support groups to work with parents to help their children through all aspects of gender transition. She recently moved to Northeast Georgia where she is excited to develop opportunities to continue to strongly and proudly advocate for LGBTQ+ members of our society. She also LOVES kitschy Christmas crafting!

5 thoughts on “Matched and Still Married

  1. Sweet, sweet, sweet. Thank God, this sounds a lot like my marriage, or I’d have to strangle you, lol. I, too, do not believe in the idea of there being only one person out there, your destiny, lord help you if you never find him, etc. – but I do believe that “I do” means grabbing hold and holding on, and for anyone who’s been married long enough, you know that into every marriage the hell and high water eventually comes. I’m happy for you and Josh that you’ve found a good match in the person on the other end of that raft.

    Congrats to you both on the internship match. I’m sure there will be some rough points, but you’ll weather it with your usual sense of humor.

    And kudos to Josh on that proposal. LOVE. IT. Who, indeed, could have said no?

  2. Thanks for sharing the proposal story. I think you know your marriage is strong when you go through the good times and bad. We’ve had a lot of bad (Rudy’s health problems) times, but if you love the person, you just go through them with them and know there is good at the other end. I’m sure that Josh will still be sleep deprived during his residency sadly and you’ll be left handling the house. At least there’s an end in sight. Congrats to Josh for getting through med school.

    1. Oh, don’t worry about me taking care of the house, Natalie. We prefer living in filth. Just kidding. I’ve always admired how devoted you are to your family while pursing writing and working more than full time!

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