If you’re not from Michigan, you may not know that we all talk with our hands. See how the hand is the shape of the state? That little house is where Ann Arbor is. That star is where Lansing, the Capitol, lies. I’m going to miss that part of being a Michigander. (Or, more accurately, a Michigoose.) I thought for my hundredth post I’d list 100 things I learned while living in Michigan. These won’t be in any particular order. And may not have anything to do with Michigan except happening in the last seven years. It’s the longest Josh and I have lived in one place together. I’ve definitely learned a lot.
1. I’m afraid of bats.
2. I’m also afraid of toads.
3. Eleanor and Maggie will run in front of the lawnmower in order to save the toads lives.
4. Eleanor loves animals and she is serious about that. (as if #3 didn’t prove that.)
5. Joining SWBWI Michigan chapter is the best thing a novice writer for kids (who lives here) may do.
6. Quitting Pfizer for Med School was a good plan.
7. A Black man can be President.
8. Josh is an incredibly hard-working medical student.
9. Orthodontia is more interesting than I could have guessed.
10. Some people’s oral hygiene – or lack thereof – make me literally gag. I’m afraid if I ever worked on people’s teeth, I might throw up in their mouth.
11. Working on Invoicing and Payroll can be satisfying work.
12. Bosses can humiliate me.
13. Other bosses can be wonderful friends.
14. A good friend may be a curmudgeonly dentist in his sixties.
15. I’m a good young adult writer.
16. I hate wearing scrubs to work!
17. I’m a bit more of a wallower than I wish I were.
18. I do not want to be a teacher when I grow up.
19. My favorite YA book is Stargirl.
20. Signing with an agent does not mean I’ll get published.
21. But it’s a pretty damn great feeling the day he offers representation (even if you are in the most awkward position possible).
22. Sometimes even if you’re the youngest parent in the room, you’re still the most grown up.
23. I can run a 5k. In fact, I can run through Hell.
24. Turning 30 feels great.
25. My thirties are WAY better than my twenties.
26. Linkin Park is a band and not an actual park. (Thank you, substitute teaching)
27. I’m too old for Coyote Ugly. (The bar)
28. Yam fries. YUM!
29. Someday I’ll live in a city where I eat in the same restaurant nearly every day; it should resemble The West End Grill.
30. Going to a funeral for someone who lived a grouchy life is one of the most confusing things in life.
31. Beagles are troublemakers.
32. Facebook is fun.
33. Blogging is a lot of work, but it’s fun too.
34. Twitter is not my thing, but it’s actually pretty useful for making connections, so I’ll keep at it.
35. According to my blog stats, most people who visit are looking for something to do with socks.
36. I understand child development milestones for babies, toddlers, and teenagers. The middle-grade years are confusing for me.
37. When you’re married, and you move a lot, you can’t have best friends like you used to.
38. But that’s okay because family fills that space.
39. I LOVE mint M & M’s so much!
40. Writers make amazing pen pals.
41. People don’t put two spaces after a period anymore.
42. Owning a home is much harder than renting.
43. Don’t sass your husband on the stairs. You may fall down and lose your zing.
44. Breaking Bad and Dexter are shows worth watching. A lot to learn about human nature here.
45. Getting rejected when applying for a job is rarely about your qualifications.
46. I should have worked when my kids were babies. I’m happier working.
47. You really don’t have to lock your front door when you live in Chelsea.
48. Michigan schools are high quality schools.
49. I enjoy reading graphic novels, especially Blankets.
50. I’m capable of installing a chandelier in my dining room.
51. School talents shows are practically worthless.
52. I really won’t ever have my old body back, no matter how I could try (which I won’t).
53. A strange grownup feeling comes over you when your last living grandparent dies.
54. I love online Scrabble!
55. Halloween is more fun when you live in a small town.
56. It’s hard to drive in Ann Arbor (for me).
57. Using a GPS is like being omnipotent.
58. I prefer the Beach Club over Club Lulu, even though there’s no bacon on it. So confusing.
59. It takes me longer to enter a text message than to write a paragraph.
60. I’m not cut out for the military.
61. Researching boot camp is fun. Boot camp is not fun.
62. Three of the most valuable relationships you can have are with your doctor, your accountant, and your mechanic.
63. Having the sex talk with my kids was actually kind of fun.
64. Successful writing is more about perseverance than skill.
65. I’m far more sentimental than I’ll ever be wise.
66. A Moscow mule is a good drink.
67. I’m just not a fan of fantasy writing.
68. Name a song from the Eighties, and if it was in a movie, I’ll almost always be able to tell you which one.
69. These are real words: cowy, suq, adz, qat, qaid, zax, oxo, toyo, godetia, oxlips.
70. Never own a bunny for a pet.
71. If it weren’t for the Internet, I never would have completed my novel.
72. If you find buried treasure in “navigable waters,” then it’s yours to keep.
73. You should definitely visit Oaxaca, Mexico. And Huatulco.
74. If you hit shift + return, it won’t double space that next line.
75. Quark sucks. So does Power Point.
76. If your boss gives you a photo search, it doesn’t matter what you’re looking for, you will find naked people photos.
77. Our work building resides within two zip codes, so we have two different post people.
78. Every woman should read Esquire now and then.
79. One of the most amazing feelings in the world is watching your child rise above his or her fears.
80. That thing about poinsettias being poisonous to pets is an urban legend.
81. But if for some reason you need to induce vomiting with your dog, administer 1 tsp. hydrogen peroxide. Then step away from your dog.
82. A rejection letter can be thrilling. But it is usually heart-breaking.
83. One quarter of all pregnancies don’t result in a living baby.
84. When your computer gets struck by lightening, your insurance may cover it under the “Acts Of God” clause.
85. There are worse things in the world than a bad economy.
86. Men usually DO build a better sandwich.
87. All my favorite authors are men. Weird.
88. I’m more apt to buy a book if it has a pink cover.
89. If you add up all the pages of all the Harry Potter book, you get 2332 pages. (That’s a little over 4 and 1/2 reams of paper)
90. The word with the most consonants and least vowels is strength.
91. If you need to have an important conversation with your kids, go on a long drive. They can’t leave the car and will generally stay engaged.
92. Always give someone a good reference. Everyone needs a job.
93. It really bothers me to hear other people make fun of, or badmouth, fat people. It REALLY bothers me.
94. You never know who will take your advice.
95. I have bad taste in music.
96. My neighbors are not my people, but I still love living in a small town.
97. I need to travel more.
98. Sometimes it’s important to ask your kids what they think about your parenting.
99. If Goonies is on, I can’t turn away.
100. Some of the most meaningful relationships you have, may ones that are online.