If my life this week were a book cover, it would not look like this. (Doesn’t that look like a book cover?) But, I’m striving for it this weekend. I’ve cried more than once this week. Along with the hilarity that is my job, (I recently did a check for white tigers in someone’s room), there is the smack of sickness and aging that is coming for us all. Nobody has died, and while I’m proud to work in a place that I believe is a place of dignity and encouragement, some weeks it’s harder than others to live in denial about the ways my body and/or mind will eventually fail me.
Sorry, I’m totally telling rather than showing, but it’s my blog and I’ll tell if I want to. I want to give you specific stories but I’m still not sure what’s okay with the corporation, so until I get the nod from the folks at work, I’ll just leave this post mostly as a sentiment. I can kind of sum it up in a couple lines of dialogue, so I’ll give you that.
Resident: Why can that other person walk around without someone with them! They’re worse off than me.
Me: I understand your frustration.
Resident: NO YOU DON’T!
That’s completely true. I don’t understand. Not really. How do you try to explain that “worse off” has A LOT of different interpretations? That it doesn’t really even apply to the situation? You don’t try to explain. At least, I don’t. I’m not equipped with that kind of training. I know I’ll adjust to my surroundings and the reality, but the thing is, I’m past just getting to know the people there. I’m starting to care. That’s never a bad thing. It’s just a harder thing.
So, this weekend the kids are going up to my parents’ lake-house, and I’m going to engage in a few long baths, snuggles with Josh, good movies, writing a little more of that YA novel, and anything else that promises peace, hope, and focus.