Having a “done” manuscript is having a weird effect on me. I love that it is polished and ready to go. There is a HUGE sense of accomplishment in that and I don’t take it for granted. I hope there is more work to be done with an editor after a sale, but being where I am right now (done revising with Ted) is satisfying in a way that has taken me by surprise.
I’ve been trying to get back into a draft of a different manuscript. I have ideas about it. I have plans for this story. I have slick dialog in my head, but every time I write it down, it looks clunky and weird. I’m suddenly impatient with the draftiness of the thing. I see that I need to write about 3-5 chapters that I’m nearly positive I’ll cut later, but that I need to write to know where I’m going. I keep thinking, no this isn’t good. I’ve kind of always thought that in the first draft, but it’s never bothered me. I could push through because I wanted to be better so bad. Now I have a manuscript to judge myself by and it’s weird. I don’t want it to be just as good as the first, I want it to be even better. A second young adult book proves that the first wasn’t a one-time wonder. Haha! This is the world in my head apparently: My first book does swimmingly and, in fact, so well that I have to worry that my second one will keep up. I guess I like to plan ahead, when really I just want to get back to the fun of writing. I want to be more Zen! But wanting in itself is not Zen, right?